wow, has it been 2 months?

Ok so I suck, been 2 months since I have made a post. Not that anyone reads this anyway. I wanted to make this a "journal" of sorts. Its odd, I have tons of thoughts and a million opinions on things. But when it comes to actually putting them down somewhere. I always think to myself, huh I dont have anything to say.

Lucky for you I dont post all my insane thoughts and harsh opinions on everything. Cause I have a opinion on EVERYTHING.

So since my last post. Seen a good amount of movies, been to a few hockey games. Drank some really good beers, and not so good beers. My dad came to visit for Thanksgiving. He is my father and all, but sometimes I dont know why I bother to spend time with him. I see in him tendencies I used to have, but have realized that they need to change or be dropped completely. He doesnt see these things nor care to change or address them. I know he is getting older and I should try to spend time with him as much as I can, but its tough. He pisses me off so badly at times that I care not to see him anymore. I know that sounds bad, but years and years of his bullshit can only be put up with for so long. I am no angel, I can be a really asshole towards him when I dont agree with him. But to my defense it is usually when he is acting like a child. You know eyes closed hands over the ears humming and stomping his feet. Completely unwilling to even hear what I have to say, let alone consider it at all. I dont want to change his mind, like I freaking could. But sure would be nice if he would at least give me the courtesy I give him and hear what I have to say , process it and decide whether or not he agrees. If he doesnt see it the way I do, its shut out. I might as well not say a word. All it does is end up in a fight. Cause he acts this way and pisses me the hell off, to the point that now I act like a asshole and only make matters worse. sigh...

This time of year is also hard for me in other ways. Jill has a big family. She is extremely close to her family and this time of year only kicks things up another gear. She loves this time of year cause it means spending more time with her family. Family that lives out of town, in town to visit. She almost becomes obsessed with spending as much time as possible with them. This means staying really late visiting. This also means obscene amounts of board games. This is all hard for me because I am a only child, my parents divorced when I was 2. See where I am going here? Family is no wheres as important to me as they should be. I only have 1 grand parent left, my Popo. He is getting up there, and I should try to be closer to him. But what to you say? What do you do? We only have memories of when I was a young boy, some nearly 30 years ago. I know my father, my Popo are family and I should "seize the day" and take while I can get it, but I dont know. I guess I am really a bad person. I dont know.

My mom. We have always been close. Even as I get older we still never lost our connection. I never had that with my father. Maybe its cause I know, I have seen it, that my mother loves me and cares about me, worries about me. Is there to help in any fashion. I havent seen that from my father. Maybe its cause she raised me on her own. It was just the 2 of us, so maybe that drove us closer together. Perhaps.

thats it for now...